king for a day, fool for a lifetime...

i don't care what anyone says, faith no more are still one of my all-time favorite bands. although they are best known for the horrible single "epic" which got them tagged as an early 90s one hit wonder, and for inspiring a lot of the worst bands of all time to mix metal and hip hop, please don't hold these things against them. this is a band who made tons of really fucked up, heavy and weird music. after selling millions of records with "the real thing" they were in a position to have more musical control and unleashed their masterpiece "angel dust" upon the world, which had a little bit of success but then it seems like everyone forgot about them. well, being a teenager in the 90s, FNM was a band who stood out from the herd and who's weirdness, smartness and sarcasm spoke to me, so i followed their career long after most people stopped caring. i think it was around 98 when they replaced original guitarist jim martin with trey spruance from mr. bungle (whom singer mike patton was also a member of, duh.) and recorded the fine album "king for a day, fool for a lifetime" which, while not as consistently good as "angel dust", features some of the bands best work, and was mostly ingnored. there's a couple cheesy moments here, but "ricochet", "digging the grave" and "the gentle art of making enemies" are classic rocking FNM while "take this bottle" is one of the most heart breaking ballads i've ever heard. enjoy.

happy birthday, fucker

"but it can't be real blood!"

gwar on joan rivers, i'm guessing this is early 90s. enjoy.

cooking with cum

"Semen is not only nutritious, but it also has a wonderful texture and amazing cooking properties. Like fine wine and cheeses, the taste of semen is complex and dynamic. Semen is inexpensive to produce and is commonly available in many, if not most, homes and restaurants. Despite all of these positive qualities, semen remains neglected as a food. This book hopes to change that. Once you overcome any initial hesitation, you will be surprised to learn how wonderful semen is in the kitchen. Semen is an exciting ingredient that can give every dish you make an interesting twist. If you are a passionate cook and are not afraid to experiment with new ingredients - you will love this cook book!"

niggers with attitude

if you've come this far in life as to be wasting time (while you should be working!) reading my crappy blog, then you are already well acquainted with NWA and all of their retarded brilliance and incendiary politics, or lack there of. but have you heard their first, self released cassette, "NWA and the posse"? holy fuck, this shit is awesome! straight outta compton might have defined west coast gangsta rap, but this early shit is raw as fuck and, well... fun. "drink it up", an ode to all things alchoholic sung/rapped to the tune of "twist and shout" might be the greatest party song i've ever heard, on par with the best work of my personal favorite ol' dirty bastard. assemble your crew, twist off a forty cap and blast this shit, punk ass niggas!
nwa and the posse
oh, and since i'm talking about NWA i should also include this hilarious "explicit content only" remix of strait outta compton and easy duz it, hot-linked (yummmm...hot link) from the cosmic hearse, thanks, ace!!!
bitch nigga titties damn

i can has radio show?

as you may or may not know, my good friend jack shit does an interweb radio show on 9th floor radio, titled, aptly enough, jack shit. i was a guest on his show recently and had such a good time i inquired about getting my own show but there's no open slots right now. soooo... jack has asked me to fill in for him once a month! this is very exciting for me, i've always wanted to have a radio show since i first saw "pump up the volume"

anyway, my first show will be this tuesday, with special guest star spencer grey (my homie who paints those crazy dinosaurs, plays guitar in thrips and hates the internet) we will be playing music by our bands and all kinds of other crazy shit, and discussing the impending apocalypse.
you don't wanna miss it!

listen live. .tuesday april 7, 3-5 pm at www.9thfloorradio.com
shows are also archived so you can hear the whole thing at any time (24 hours after broadcast) by looking in the 9th floor radio archives under jack shit!
you can also hear my previous appearance on jack's show in said archive, it says featuring jason storm of the human beings, ha! i sound like a dork but i play good music. and some bands i've been in. okay.

9th floor radio

not the good kind of cocaine torch...

this comes from BBC news and is really scary...
"An ultraviolet torch which shows certain drugs as glowing green is being used to catch cocaine-using clubbers.
Developed by JNE Marketing in Wrexham, the torch shines up traces of cocaine and amphetamine as bright green.
The 'cocaine torch', used by police, highlights traces of the substances on the nostrils and cheeks of users.
Sales and marketing manager Nick Hughes, 36, said: "Drug detection never crossed my mind until I stumbled upon other uses of UV light online."
The firm claims the torch is being used by police forces across the UK.
JNE Marketing, which has been supplying crime prevention products since 1990, was originally marketing a torch that could identify counterfeit currencies and identity cards.
"We're always looking for new products to tackle crimes, so it's only when conducting some general research that it struck me the torch could have a forensic use," said Mr Hughes, whose background is in business studies and marketing.
He approached a former client, a drugs liaison officer in Kent, to conduct some tests, and discovered the torch could also identify certain drugs, including cocaine, some ecstasy tablets and amphetamines.
The torch was piloted last weekend by police in Blackburn, Lancashire, where four men were stopped from entering a nightclub in the town centre.
Pc Andy Duxbury, from Blackburn police station, said: "We shone the torch onto people as they entered pubs and clubs.
"It showed up, as bright green, traces of cocaine left in people's nostrils or cheeks that'd normally be invisible to the naked eye."
He added: "It sends the right message and helps us to tackle illegal drug-use and its associated problems of violent crime."
He has just ordered a new batch of torches for the station and local pubs.
Mr Hughes said 20 police forces across the country have ordered, or expressed an interest in, the torches, and pub and nightclub owners have also ordered batches online.
But he never expected the torch would be used to spot-check clubbers.
"I'd only thought of the torch being used to expose surfaces where drugs had been, I didn't think of the benefits of it showing up drug-use on individuals," he said.
JNE Marketing has sold over 100 torches so far, and received interest from suppliers in the UK as well as from Africa, Canada and Buenos Aires."

what we do is bullshit

i just saw the movie "what we do is secret", a biography of darby crash and the germs, one of my all time favorite bands. wow. what a fucking piece of shit. it shouldn't surprise me too much that hollywood would take the story of one of the greatest, most influential punk bands of all time and turn it into some typical drivel, but what really bothers me is that the original band members all participated in this project, even going so far as to play some shows with the actor who portrays darby fronting the reunited band. and fronting is definitely the right word. the guy just reeks of hollywood shmarm and fakeness. it's pretty obvious that he's not into punk or gay and has never done drugs (it always bugs the shit out of me when people shoot up wrong in movies, don't you think there'd be at least one former junkie around who they could, like consult, or something?) but in the hands of a better actor that wouldn't matter. the film is contrite and depicts entire years of peoples lives through brief montages that never really give you any character development or insight into who these people you're supposed to care about are, and definitely would not convert any new fans. in the film characters are always talking about what a ingenious and tragic figure darby is, but the way he's portrayed he just comes of as a conceited prick, which he may have been sometimes but i'd like to think he was a much more complex and multi-faceted individual. if i knew nothing about the germs this movie would not make me interested in digging any deeper, but as a longtime fan i'm just fucking disgusted. i first heard the germs as an angry impressionable youth and the weird, fast music and darby's dark poetry spoke deeply to my tortured young soul. i don't know if i could have made it through high school without my cassette of MIA. darby has also been a huge influence on me as a singer, writer and performer, i would take pride in the comparisons after people saw my band play. the germs were one of the bands that inspired me and my teenage troublemaker friends to pick up instruments and try to do something with our lives, even going so far as to do a set of germs covers for a halloween show (we played on the street with the faggz as nirvana, that was awesome) and often including "communist eyes" and "land of treason" in our sets. i just can't believe the surviving members of the germs would shit on their legacy to cash in like that, letting down a massive cult of dedicated fans (how many of you have germs burns?) and scaring away any potential new ones. so, yeah, this movies not even worth watching for free on the internet. just get a copy of the book of the same name and read that if you want to know more about this amazing band. oh and if i ever end up beating the shit out of the fake darby crash, please come visit me in jail cuz you know that pussy would press charges.

here's the real germs in all their glory, from the decline of western civilization, just watch that again.